[Julia Healey]

Question 1 – In urge surfing meditation, my attention was drawn to a kink in my neck – the more I focused on the discomfort, the stronger the discomfort and the more urgency to move – the sensation began to spread to my shoulder, and eventually my whole arm. Anxiety and frustration rose in non action. A struggle to shift focus to breath with the discomfort calling my attention back – eventually ebbing and subsiding as I settled into breath work.
Imagined breath as a warm fluid stream loosening the tightness and releasing tension. As meditation continued, some tension remained with acceptance – acceptance that ok for tension and relief that it can just be and I don’t have to do anything to fix it.

Question 2 – I did loving kindness meditation which I have tried in past. I chose it because it has always been a challenging one for self love/acceptance and letting go of held feelings to others who have been wounding. It is a powerful exercise to release pain, resentments or anger to self or others but requires much practice. I found myself rushing through the words as hard to let myself receive them. – this is easier when guided or done group meditation for me. Great benefit to those in addiction or with trauma histories with negative core beliefs of self or resentments keeping addiction alive

Question 3 – I enjoyed this course to help bring my “attention” back to present and it’s practice. In pace of life, daily meditation can get lost as we are drawn into rushing movement – and more removed from selves. These practices are essential for clinician health to be present with clients and positive skill to build in those struggling with addiction, self harm impulses, trauma response of fight/flight. Urge surfing is one I use often with these impulses – to learn to tolerate the discomfort, distract, and allow it to subside and pass.

[Julia Healey]

Question 1 – I struggled at the beginning of meditation with internal critic imposing judgement “not doing it right” – “belly not softening” “you’re not going to be able to get this” The effort to find the Good experience and push back the Bad led to discomfort and the addictive cycle – I wanted to stop the meditation to avoid the feelings and just escape the whole situation. I persisted on by trying just to acknowledge and accept the distressing thoughts while imagining my belly getting wider and more open with each breath. The thoughts always remained but I wasn’t as distressed by them when I stopped giving them meaning and power.

Question 2 – this exercise was hard but a good practice towards acceptance. The refrain like a mantra “may I accept myself completely as I am right now” became a focal point to help neutralize any thoughts of judgement. As in exercise 1, the thoughts and resulting feelings didn’t lessen but were more tolerable and less believable. Asking myself for acceptance just at this singular MOMENT was also helpful as not being asked to always accept – but just for right now. More achievable and a like a loving voice giving permission

Question 3 – I meet individually and facilitate groups in hospitals where I can bring these exercises. Patients are widely varied in experience, acuity, and insights but these exercises as seem ones able to be applied universally. Self judgement, shame, guilt and strong emotions are intensified by the act of being psychiatrically hospitalized- and reflection on the events leading them there. Avoidance is played out in efforts to isolate in room, decline groups or taking with others, and sleeping. These exercises offer a framework lacking judgement and simple instructions – our groups focus on building awareness, distress tolerance and coping skills. CBT. Interpersonal skills but mindfulness practices can further benefit connection versus avoidance. Avoidant response so prevalent in behaviors of addiction, denial is mental health needs, and escapism – a cycle which perpetuates suffering and repetitive return to crisis

[Julia Healey]

1. I tried the Body Scan meditation initially unguided and then with guided version. As my own guide, I was caught in a push pull – wanting to go slow..gentle while feeling pushed to move quickly from one body part to the other – a race to finish and move on. When listening to a guided voice, I felt the hurried pressures decreased – the voice giving permission to be slow and follow along – able to bring self back to voice whoever I jumped ahead to next body part. It was challenging to just put my attention on noticing sensation without judging any tightness or constriction in self blaming/negative thought. Needed to keep working to suspend judgement but it kept pushing back in like a rebounding boomerang. I can see benefit of practice to strengthen focus.
2. Focusing on object in mindful way was interesting exercise. I chose a smooth rock eroded by ocean waves that I found on a local beach. Touching it conjured the smell and sound of ocean. Blue sky and warm sun. Mind wandered to memories of being at beach and visual picture. More easily able to bring attention back to object than to body part in exercise one when mind wandered. Thoughts more pleasant in reminiscing rather than critical
3. I have actually tried both meditations in a DBT group I co facilitated. The body scan experience was in my own therapy in my early 20.s at college when experiencing self imposed pressures to succeed and anxiety. In groups, it was both an individual and shared experience as member first spent time with object and then shared experience/opened to feedback with other members of group. Body scan more individual. More distracted and challenging in group. My own experience was laying in floor in counselor office which felt very strange but yielded grounding and comfort. Counselor led scan . So many years later And I can still recall the exercise – see items in room and recall the peace I felt. I think exercises can be adapted to different settings in various forms with benefit

[Julia Healey]

1. My experience with the Breath Counting exercise reminded me of my early practice as a tool to learn meditation and presence. It was reminiscent of group exercises where one focused on counting or a mantra which served as an anchor to bring awareness back when the mind wandered. I find it’s a helpful tool to teach patients who have no experience or practice in mindfulness as it is concrete, easily learned, and accessible. At this point in my life, I find it less helpful for me personally. Rather than facilitate an opening, I feel less aware of the environment inside and outside self as it is blocked by my single focus on a single cue word. The benefit is learning to bring awareness to breath and hold focus there
2. I find basic meditation most helpful – I practice it in movement verses being stationary. When running, I am fully present with the sights and sounds around me, how the air temperature feels, tensions in my body, feet hitting the ground and thoughts flow – letting them move by as I stride – soon no longer aware of thought and just present with sights and sound
3, They are similar in drawing awareness to the present, not attaching to thoughts, bringing the focus back continuously when the mind wanders away from the present moment. Differences are largely that counting meditation creates a structure and basic lends for one to be more attuned and able to keep bringing back focus on own. In early practice with patients, I would use the counting format as the ability to be present is so foreign and avoided to substance users, trauma survivors, and others who have learned to cope by escaping emotions and thoughts

[Julia Healey]

Hi, my name is Julia Healey. I am an LCPC on the Social Work team at Spring Harbor Hospital. The work can be challenging with need to multi task in fast paced setting while mutually supporting needs of patients, families, and treatment team. I’m hoping more actively attending to mindfulness skills will keep me more present as well as offer these skills to those I support

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