[Julie Powers-Candelmo]

What did you notice about your physical experience during the Urge Surfing exercise? What was it like for you to focus on an impulse and refrain from acting on it? What did you notice about how the sensation in your body associated with your impulse change over the course of the exercise? How would you evaluate the effectiveness of this mindfulness practice to “ride out” addictive cravings or impulses to engage in other risk behaviors like binging, self-harming, gambling, smoking, etc.? How would you envision adapting and integrating Urge Surfing into your clinical work with people with addictive behaviors? Be specific.

I started with the urge to push my glasses up higher on my nose as they were slipping down. I was able to notice without judgment how it felt, where each part of my glasses was touching my face and move on to a subtle itch on my chin. I noticed that it felt very small and while focusing on that I was distracted by an itch on my toe which twitched a little (semi-involuntarily) before I briefly focused on it and moved on. I then noticed places of tension – one in my neck that seemed brown, square, and dull, and I felt an urge to stretch it, but it eventually didn’t seem necessary. The most significant observation I had was that I was getting cold and had an urge to turn the space heater on and check how much longer before the exercise would be over. I decided to befriend the cold and noticed the tingly sensation of it in my shoulders, chest, and legs. It seemed sparkly, red and white, and kind of interesting. I had never noticed that about cold before. I often recommend urge surfing to my clients with addictions and some have reported that it helps them. I usually talk to them about the wave, and how cravings pass like an itch. After this exercise, I would be likely to give them the instructions that I used here as they are detailed and specific and I don’t think it would need much adaptation unless a different visual other than a wave might work better for some people. When I first learned about “urge surfing”, it meant something more like playing out a craving to its logical end to see that it would not work out well. It was also said to be counter indicated for people whose addiction was to methamphetamines. The exercise we did for this course was completely different and for me, led to relaxation and self-compassion. I feel that it would be effective for a wide variety of problems besides addictions but that it is well suited for managing triggers and cravings.

Question 2
Describe which of the mindfulness practices you picked and why? What did you notice about your physical experience and feelings, and your relationship to your thoughts during the mindfulness practice? How would you evaluate the effectiveness of this mindfulness exercise to meet your physical, emotional and mental experience in the moment with a sense of compassion and/or expand your sense of connection to something greater than the self? How would you envision adapting and integrating this mindfulness exercise into your clinical work with people with behavioral health issues? Be specific.

I tried all of the exercises but the one I liked the most was Thought Diffusion. I felt physically relaxed throughout the experience and found it helpful for observing and letting go of both thoughts and subsequent emotions. I noticed various thoughts related to time and my next client that I am scheduled to meet with. Sometimes, I put the words associated with my thoughts on clouds and other times I put the images on them. Either way, I watched them float away, and some of the time I was able to visualize the meadow scene without labeling anything or judging, enhancing my connection to myself and my sense of meaning. I was even more relaxed by the end of the exercise and 10 minutes felt more like 5 somehow. One adaptation I thought of was using a painting or other piece of art for the meadow. I used one that it on my wall in my bedroom that I love, and I might suggest to clients that they do this if they prefer. I feel that it helped ground me and gave me something specific to visualize. I would also recommend any place that clients find peaceful and calming. I always emphasize to clients the importance of practicing mindfulness meditation while they are not in acute distress (panic attack, flash back, etc.) so that they will be better able to do so when they are. Otherwise, as I tell them, it’s like learning to swim while you’re drowning.

Question 3
Take a moment to reflect on your experiences with mindfulness over the past four weeks. How would you evaluate your experience with mindfulness as a way to alleviate suffering in your own life and help you enhance your connection to a felt sense of spirituality and meaning? How do you envision bringing this mindful self into your work with people who suffer from substance use, addictive, or mental disorders?

I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and practice mindfulness in this intentional way as it is just what I need right now. I have been working on letting go of my attachments to my thoughts, emotions and beliefs and through this course I have found that mindfulness in all of its forms is essential for my inner peace. I have already begun to integrate what I have learned into my work with clients and have been teaching them some of the exercises and concepts. Often, I find that some motivational enhancement and patience are needed as many clients are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the idea of meditation and mindfulness. Encouragement and support have been helpful to me as I have gone through a similar process of learning, practicing, and increasing my motivation to practice. This is a good use of self since I can relate to my clients who are ambivalent and help them work through it.

[Julie Powers-Candelmo]

Question 1
What did you notice about your physical experience during the Soft Belly Meditation? What was it like for you to have a point of focus be the soft belly? How would you evaluate the effectiveness of this meditation to enhance acceptance of feelings and sensations in the moment?

During this exercise I felt a persistent burning and fullness in my belly which was quite uncomfortable. As I breathed into it, I felt increasingly nauseous which I attempted to observe without judgement. I felt frustrated and almost started crying which makes me think that I need to try it again as perhaps there was something about what I had ingested that was affecting my experience. I tried not to judge my frustration or my urge to cry with some success. Perhaps I just need to practice more so that I can tolerate it better. There was the distraction of three dogs barking and running around on the floor above me which I was better able to observe without judgement and allow it to “float into the soft belly”. Unexpectedly, the time seemed to go by very quickly.

Question 2
What did you notice about your physical experience during the Acceptance Exercise? What was it like for you to have the point of focus be the phrase, “May I accept myself completely as I am right now?” How would you evaluate the effectiveness of this mindfulness exercise to enhance acceptance of self in the moment?

This exercise went differently for me as I found myself very relaxed and I believe I fell asleep a couple times. I even had images of hand gestures that went along with the words I was repeating which helped me to focus. Again, I had the distraction of the dogs running around and barking above me, but they affected me less than they did in the previous exercise. The time seemed to go by slower this time. The words I was repeating in my head seemed to lose their meaning from time to time, and I had to reconnect with them when this happened.

Question 3
How would you envision adapting and integrating the Soft Belly Meditation and/or the Acceptance Exercise into your clinical work with others, particularly people with addictions? Be specific.

These exercises could be useful for client’s when they are facing triggers and cravings or even dealing with a relapse. I may need more experience and practice with the “soft belly” exercise before I recommend it to clients but given the experience of deep relaxation that I had with the Acceptance exercise, I can image this being effective in helping people manage triggers by neutralizing their effects, getting through periods of cravings without using, and moving forward from relapse with renewed confidence and self-compassion.

[Julie Powers-Candelmo]

I have tried similar exercises to this before and I find it quite relaxing. This time, I was cold and had a blanket over me and it took me a minute to get into the meditation – to get settled. I was sometimes unsure if I had been breathing or not as I was so focused on feeling sensations without naming them. I usually have trouble attending to more than one task at a time and found it challenging to breathe while focusing on bodily sensations. I have some areas in my body that are painful right now, but as I focused on them, I found the pain to be milder or undetectable, even though I had anticipated feeling the pain. My mind wandered to how I would use this exercise with clients, and it seemed to take a while for me to notice this and return to the meditation. The exercise seemed to go by rather quickly. With practice noticing sensations without naming, judging, or trying to change them while also checking in on my breathing intermittently could help significantly with concentration while providing opportunity to develop flexibility of attention.

I found it relatively easy to maintain my focus on the object (a smooth stone) at first. I was aware of all of the things that I wouldn’t have ordinarily noticed about it, particularly the temperature and weight. It was so smooth that I brought it to my lips and then I noticed that it was taking on the temperature of my skin whereas it was cooler before I picked it up. Eventually, I became distracted by some work I needed to get done and had a hard time refocusing on the object. This exercise proved particularly grounding for me – almost like “earthing”, and the prompt questions were helpful for me to maintain my focus. I have offered stones like the one I used to clients in my work and this exercise offers a new dimension for using them.

The body scan exercise might be useful for issues such as chronic pain and insomnia. I have used a version of this in my practice in which the client imagines herself as being the size of the statue of liberty with a door in one of the feet that she can visualize entering through. She then moves through her body and finds the areas of discomfort, “fixing” them as she sees fit and then moving on to the next area as needed. I have also used this myself. This version, of course, falls more into the category of visualization with the added component of trying to affect some change in the physiological sensations.
It also reminds me of progressive relaxation exercises but again without the element of changing the physical state. With the other exercise, I think it could be helpful in grounding when a client becomes activated by trauma triggers. As I mentioned previously, I have given clients stones to keep in their pockets for this purpose but with this exercise, I can offer a new dimension of mindfulness practice that might also help them develop their ability to concentrate on the present moment thus potentially reducing anxiety.

[Julie Powers-Candelmo]

1) I noticed lots of thoughts and distractions, especially at first. My body was relatively relaxed, and I noticed that there were two different ways that I was closing my eyes so that sometimes it was darker and other times it was lighter. I also found that I counted to 11 and 12 a couple times, but my concentration seemed to improve as time went on. I had set a timer and was startled when it went off.

2) My hands and feet were cold, but I felt calm and relaxed most of the time and eventually stopped noticing the cold. Sometimes I noticed that my jaw became tight. When I noticed it, I relaxed it. My dog was crying and then playing, and I was able to continue to breathe through it. Sometimes I was a little impatient with myself when I noticed my mind wandering but I was then able to shift my focus back to my breath with more gentleness.

3) The similarities between the two exercises included the focus on the present and on my breathing, a relaxed feeling in my body and a decrease in thinking, as well as a bit of a fight to stay focused. Both exercises were helpful, though the one that I have used since practicing it the first time is the counting breaths exercise. I think I needed more structure and counting provided that. I think I was more impatient with myself during the second exercise, but I was able to practice shifting my focus back to my breath more gently during that one. I also found that it was easier for me to focus on my chest rising and falling rather than on the base of my nose. I can envision teaching these exercises to clients, providing them with written instructions for use outside of sessions, and also using the exercises in sessions. Many people are ambivalent about starting a meditation practice and don’t know how to do it and this makes it simple and accessible. I had been in this boat and am currently resolving my own ambivalence around this through this course.

[Julie Powers-Candelmo]

Hello…I’m Julie and I am a Clinician in private practice in South Portland since 2016. I registered for this course because I need more mindfulness in my life and in my work and I very much enjoy Patricia Burke’s trainings!

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